Back again!

back yet again! i forgot the existence of this blog again,haha! well it is 2016 already! many things happen in 2015, my bad conduct at work is the main highlight of 2015. trust me i have no idea why i am just lazy to go work. first, it was due to sparks. it was a crazy period for me though i look laid back. trust me, i want to blame everyone for putting me through this but i was able to learn a new thing. like i was not mentor-ed properly and etc but hey, 1 finger you point to others, 4 fingers pointing back at you. haha! so T.Saleena is promoted to Principal as Ms Deepa quits. and 20th Feb is my last day at work. yup, i am moving on. for the past 3 year, i was not at my best behaviour and i was asked to transfer to another centre which will kill me. i did not take the offer, i still remember what my P said to me " If you are not going to take the offer, I guess you better find a new job or part time that allow you to take care of your niece and etc" oh damn! typing this makes me furious. haha! seriously, how rude can you be? i mean like you can just ask me to find a new job but no need to include my family in this. i mean like come on lah! if i fight fire with fire, i will go ballistic but my reaction is always late. haha! i always absorb what people said and give them the poker face and after that i evaluate and voila a little too late to get mad. haha! if i am mean, i can just pray for something to happen to her and such but what for! i will get nothing but more sin. so let Allah swt decides what's best for her and me. Everybody advise me to be a good worker at the new place, In Shaa Allah I will be. I want to change. I have to stop playing and start think about the future. i want to rant so much about my P but no need because no point. haha! i want to gossip but more sin will be added on. annyeonggg!!!!! :)

Friendship

I will not make myself look like i am begging for the friendship. I just have to do this because as much as i put in effort in the friendship, i guess it died long ago. we used to share woes and stuff but not anymore. i tried to close the gap between us but you make it harder. i stop trying because i am tired of being angry and disappointed. Thank you for the friendship but i guess it better this way. not to make myself begging for the friendship and hoping it will be like last time. it won't and i wish you all the best. thank you. :')

Beauty

just finish removing my make up. before removing my make up, i was kind of awe how much the make up actually covers up my pimples, blackhead, pores etc and makes me a bit confident..i mumbled, "that's why some girls love make up so much." it's a tool that can make you pretty and beautify yourself. but at the end of the day, we do need to remove out make up and face the reality...i know some really have perfect skins and such..during hari raya, my self esteem plunges down when i see my cousins were so pretty and elegant and there's me..so big and unattractive...don't talk about losing weight..not again...lose weight to look pretty and such but what if i am happy with who i am no matter what body size i'm in...do we really need to be thin to be pretty? that's the question i always i have..."lose weight so that you look pretty." i was seriously awe at some of my cousins' beauty and i was jealous but should i be jealous? i have cousins who are younger than me who are getting married and in a relationship now...so is it because i am fat and doesn't wear make up every single day, that's why i am losing out to them..i guess so if you ask the public...i am always taking it slow and let time tells the whole story..beauty comes first before character i perhaps... people will be like "you are just jealous that's why you are stating that." yes people, i am jealous but it was just for that moment i am jealous but life moves on...

Emptiness...

i am feeling unwanted right now.people are busy with life so am i. i guess i made people angry at my workplace for my constant UL. well i guess i am just lazy and nothing to look forward. gosh why am i thinking that way? yes i am lazy...maybe it is just me. plain lazy but yet again if i am at home i never do anything. gosh salina..you are confusing... like i told teacher salha just now i can no longer run away from work to go to school and no other reason that i can go half day...like teacher marina said " you are no longer schooling that people need to give in to you." i admit i am at wrong and people are mad at me... i am naughty...i am telling myself that this month of august i shall be a good girl and no more on UL and what not...dear me, please co-operate...at work i don't really talk to anyone..though i am close to teacher marina but at times, i feel that i am a bad teacher looking at how she is preparing all her stuff...all those 15 mths of training you are going to let it go salina... i have to stop blaming others and point to my own mistakes... i guess i shall leave the group chat that i am in and not communicate with other teachers for awhile..i don't belong to any group of teachers..neither the english teacher nor the other clique...i am alone i guess...blame myself for this..so i exited already...people won't realize...hehe..did that once...i guess this is the emptiness you felt when you are not trying to get closer to your Creator... after Ramadhan left, i guess i stop all the deeds..it can't stop as it is part of Muslim's way of life. we do not aim for this world but for hereafter..i have to start it back and remind myself that today maybe the last day you live and do you have enough deeds and deens to face the angel of death and answer their questions...

KPOP rant..

B2st made a comeback with Good Luck. They won 6 awards so far and i hope they win more because they worked hard not saying that other artists did not worked hard. some artists won due to their company fame.i watched MNetCountdown. B2ST was up against Taeyang and guess who won...Taeyang..expected but i came across a post at tumblr and saw a fan of taeyang i presume said that see you won without the fandom voting crazily and that's talent.. i was fuming mad because doesn't mean your oppa won he had more talent than other artist..as much as B2UTY are tactful towards others fandom but this is just plain irritating. B2ST worked hard to be at the top and so does other artistes. winning an award doesn't give you the right to talked down about other artistes' talent...i can go on and on to talk about how B2ST worked their asses off but that won't be fair for other artistes even your oppa.. as much as i respect your oppas, coz of fandom i can lose respect..let's take it as friendly competition... don't forget B2ST got full mark for 2 days straight last week.see i am already bragging about them.evil me.. let's not starts a fanwar..it is not needed anyways. I read a few websites and forum that B2ST No More are nicer..hopefully B2ST continue to be the best while being humble. read at tumblr that DooJoon scolded Yoseob for boasting about getting full mark..how cute can that be..and how humble can that be... just because an artist doesn't debut under the Big 3 company, they can't excel better than those in the big 3. i am agitated that fans that brings down other artistes still exist..ergh! i need to meet up with my KPop buddy, Luqman to rant all about this..hahaha! :P B2ST HWAITING!!! B2UTY HWAITING!!!

Fight hate with love...

came across a local youtuber vlogging about boobs. i smiled listening and watching to what she had to say. i mean it is her right as a human to be respected . she gets negative comments after posting a pictures that showed her sides of her boobs.. yes in western culture, they accepted it. but we are living in the asia continet of the world. we are conservative people by nature (some of us still very conservative).. too change people mindset takes years and years..so why hate on people who hate you? yes i may not know how it felt being called sluts and etc but if you fight hate with hate, you won't get love in the end. some people will embrace the change you want to bring but some will not..so fight hate with love and the situation will get neutral..just keep it calm about people hating on you because you can't satisfy everybody...when we layan haters, they know that they can get attention this way and continue...fight darkness with light...i am not a saint either i have my devils in me...being called fat and such, at times i just wished i can slapped them hard or sit on them but what's the point..i do want to do that to people who mocked me but what i get, i still can't closed their mouth( unless i stitch their mouth up).i get nothing..i just let it go because i know one day they will get their own medicine in a way or another..fight hate with love..

Back after 4 years

Messing around at 5.26am and here i am where i used to rant...saw few of my poly mates still blogs...haha! wow! been 4 years since i last blog..many things have changed. graduated from polytechnics and working in an industry that i didn't think i would end up... earl.y childhood sector..teaching..wow! i guess nurse didn't work out for me, IT is not me, teaching was my first ambition back in primary school days..and here i am.. i love children and being around them is a joy... work sends me to SEEDS to get a diploma in early childhood. double diploma for me! i learnt a lot...now i see children differently.. things we perceive changed when circumstances happen... reading through some of my blog post make me have goosebumps and i feel like a weirdo..haha! i am so kental! hahaha! planning to call in sick as i been gone to the toilet for like 4 times...other than tumblr i guess i can rant here! haha! hopefully i can comeback here soon! Sincerely,Salina

missing u dad :'(

sad what happen to Japan.damn sad.to see video and picture from the net regarding the quake and tsunami.hope all japan citizen are strong to face this hardship.putting aside that. i in year 3. meaning separation. currently i am doing fypj. 2 are doing IPP. the day before FYPJ start, i actually cried when i was thinking about separating with DIT0901.blame to the song i was listening that day which i am listening right now. hannah montana/miley cyrus, I'll Always Remember you. when come to think separating with the crazy class i cant help myself not to cry.because they really meant something to me. apart from my mom,family and my close friends.they really meant to me. they made me smile and laugh when i am sad.they made me cry because i laughed so much. they are like my brother and sister. they really meant something to me. they do. DIT0901 may have lack of jokers compared to other class but we are always joking ard as a class.fooling ard as a class and does lamest thing as a class.i am lying if i said they are the prefect class . we had our fights. we had our disagreement. the fights were small but we still have it.they make me feel loved.i cant help but smile when i think of the crazy stun they put up. random acts and lamest to the core jokes we had. i know we will meet each other but not being with them made me sad.i am saying like i am graduating tmr like that. i love u.

hello there!

how is everyone?i am fine i guess...i know i owe alot of update..but i am lazy..haha...shall make it short i guess! haha...

Hello Everyone! (:

i don't understand why some children are so IGNORANT of their parent's feeling...seriously..u are so ignorant of your other's feeling and care about other people mother. I serious dun understand you...seriously.. u made me speechless sometime not that you are one great man but you are one f-ing irritating man...your mom even apologize to you but you just replied by saying "Mmm"..wth was that? what you are trying to prove here? your mom been living with me like 10 years and my mom put up with her A LOT... no matter what she done she is your mother, the one that gave birth to you... you may have a bad experience whatsoever but no matter what she is your mother. during hari raya you dun even visit her? so you have a new family..whatever lah...it irritates me... no one can stop you but yourself. it bugs me so much because you are bringing up the past that your spouse are always the one been bringing your mom to the hospital and your spouse are the one cooking for her... what about my mom and me and my family? we let her go to the hospital herself?when she is sick we asked her to go hospital herself?when she has an appointment with doctor we let her go by herself?and we let her starve? think lah... use your brain and think.. how i wish that i can give you a piece of my mind. seriously...and oh yeah you were saying that i am big sized who would want me?did i asked your money to feed me? did i? gosh! i may sound heartless here but this is what i feel. this is what i think you should realize before she is gone. everyone will have leave this world.you brought up all the unfairness that happen to you...why don't my family brought up the past too? the reason behind it because we are just human being that will make mistake.. because we know that sincerity matter than just pretense...if one day, you mention about my body weight or whatsoever, believe me i will just give you piece of my mind. i am happy with myself and i don't bother anyone.

Hello Everyone,

hope all of you are fine (:

so shall update... i was reading my old post...from Poly Year 1 till now...haha...how much I grew by just reading the post itself..how much i found myself through life...haha...cool isn't it...whenever we are at that point of time, we will not take seriously that things can have an effect on us... i always like that...reading all the entry i had regarding my CCA...i realize that i really enjoyed it because seeing smiles from the person i help make me feel warmth..even the BDD made me feel that sometime people can touched us in a way or another.. i love that feeling... the thought of it I love/enjoy helping others..but i dunnoe why i lost all the motivation to do that again..maybe because i am part of the planning....i guess i hate planning things...i just like to see people planning not getting involve in it..can i just give up my position and be a normal member? can i? like give up all of this? i feel irritated and sad at the same time... Veni always told me why must i give up now just because of some people, she added that I enjoyed helping so dun stop doing it. Yeah, I love helping and seeing smile on their faces make me feel that I have done smth... can i just leave my position now and help when i am needed?I dun really care of the position I hold in my CCA because it is just a position.GOSH! hate it when I want to give up something...oh yeah Veni and I had a chat back then.... "You have a choice to jump down or look at the beautiful view when you are standing at the edge of the cliff" this was what Veni said...I chose to look at the beautiful view because something is holding me down to the ground... (:

nice isn't it? haha... hope I will enjoy what I do(: that is helping others. (:

Shall stop talking about this... (: Shall watch my K-Drama (:

Back

Hello Everyone!

Long time never blog...So how is everyone...?And Selamat Hari Raya!! I like dunnoe what to update lah...errmmmm...let me think?i still dunnoe...oh yeah did I tell you that i am liking B2ST! haha....a few weeks ago I everyday watch their video at Youtube...haha...obsessed...shall use the word obsess!hahaha...I like YoSeob!gah!!he is cute and has a very soothing voice to listen too....haha....oh yeah!! I have a new niece!Nur Alisha Bte Muhammad Razid...so shall end here...

YoSeob

Hello readers! How are all of you? Hope everyone fine! Blissful with smile! What the hell am I talking about?I do not wish to update a very emo entry but I just can't help it. Yesterday while I was writing notes for OOAD modules, I was looking at my table. I was glancing at the picture that was taken 9 years ago. The picture of my mom,my late father and me. The three of us were hugging and smiling. That day was Hari Raya. I glanced at my late father's picture for a few seconds. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with my own feeling. I always missed his laughter and jokes.Whenever someone ask about, " Your father work as what?" , I will stop and think. What should I say? I reluctantly said that he passed away. I felt sad that I have to said that. Yes I know I shall not be stupid and selfish! In this entire whole world not only me without a father. I was considered lucky enough to know my father. I still remember my first raya without my father, back in 2006. When I heard the "takbir" , I cried unknowingly. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I could not stop crying.It was always my father who make me angry and happy at the same time. He dotes on me without me realizing.Never dd I aspect to lose my father. Once, my mum said that my late father has this worry which was whether will he get to see me grow up to be a woman. When she mention that I felt sad.But I know he is with me right now. He is always with me because I hold his memories in my heart all along. I just wish that I could hug him and kiss him right now. I was not a good daughter.

I guess I should stop. I am sorry. Well I shall smile more now (:

100 Truth!

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Ice Tea
2. Last phone call: Mummy
3. Last text message: Nasyitha
4. Last song you listened to: Beast-Bad girl
5. Last time you cried: Not Sure....

Where question 6 go sia?

HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Been cheated on: Nope.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No one.
9. Lost someone special: Yes. :(
10. Been depressed: duhhhh....
11. Been drunk and threw up: DRUNK? NO LAH!!

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Red
13. Green
14. Light Purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: OF COURSE!!!
16. Fallen out of love: No...
17. Laughed until you cried: duhhhh....of course.....(:
18. Met someone who changed you: errmmm...kind of....
19. Found out who your true friends were: yeah....i think...
20. Found out someone was talking about you:errrmmmm....dunnoe...

Question 21 and 22 leh?

23. How many kids do you want to have: maybe 3...
24. Do you have any pets: nope....
25. Do you want to change your name: no...I love my name... (:
26. What did you do for your last birthday: errrmmm...it was fasting month...oh yeah...went out with sulaiman and yong en to Geylang...haha
27. What time did you wake up today: errmmm....12pm...
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Another Cinderella Story....
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: errrmmmm....new handphone?hahaha....
30. Last time you saw your Mother:Just now....came to my room to take her alarm clock...haha
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish that I am working right now...hahaha..i a bit contented now...
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tom? nope...haha
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Nothing....
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook.
36. What's your real name: Nur Salina Bte Missary
37. Nicknames: Salina, Mok,Sally
38. Relationship Status: Single and Happy...
39. Zodiac sign: Virgo
40. Gender: Female
41. Elementary:Keming Primary Sch
42. Middle School?: Hillgrove Sec
43. High school/college?: Nanyang Poly
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: Short
46. Height: 169...
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yeah....haha...eye candy i shall say..haha...oh yeah...Kim Bum & Yo Seop!!!!haha
48: What do you like about yourself?: I like that I can smile and make jokes I shall say even it is lame..haha
49. Piercings: Ear...
50. Tattoos:NO WAY!!!
51. Righty or lefty: RIGHTY!!

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Nope
53. First piercing: dun dare...haha
54. First best friend: Nur Adilah Bte Aziz
55. First sport you joined: Netball in primary school
56. First vacation: Tanjong Pinang,Indonesia

Missing question 57 also -_-

58. First pair of trainers: Heh? what that?
59. Eating: eating? errm...keropok?
60. Drinking: Plain Water...
61. I'm about to: errm....dunnoe..haha
62. Listening to:Nothing....ahaha
63. Waiting on: waiting for??not sure...haha

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: duhhhh.....yes!!!! (: (:
65. Get Married?: of course....let fate decide when..haha
66. Career?: Nursing?or IT Field? or Teacher? hahaha....

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: errrrmmmm.....Both?
73. Sensitive or loud: of course both...ahaha
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship...hee...^^
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Both...hahaha....

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Nope
77. Drank hard liquor: no lah....
78. Lost glasses/contacts: never worn both....
79. Sex on first date: first wedding night lah dey!
80. Broken someone's heart:errmmm....love wise no!

Question 81 & 82 gone?

82. Been arrested: Arrested?Dun think so....
83. Turned someone down: Nope...
84. Cried when someone died: duuuuhhhh....sad u know....
85. Fallen for a friend?: yeah... (:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yeah....kind of...not always....
87. Miracles: yup...there can be miracle when u believe...haha
88. Love at first sight: ALOT!!! hahaha....
89. Heaven: yeah... Must earn it...(:
90. Santa Claus: dunnoe...hahaha
91. Kiss on the first date: errm...no i guess.....
92. Angels: YUP!!! hahaha
93. God: YES!! Believe in ALLAH...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:How to have more when i dun have one myself..haha
95. Did you sing today?:ermm...yeah! NDP song!hahahah....
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: ermm...no....
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: maybe i can visit my late father for the last time... :(
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: last year? maybe dun go to the subcom interview..hahah
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Kind of!
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: DUH!hahahaha....

Hey Everyone...Hope everyone doing fine... dropped by m class mate's blog...and they are updating..so here am i updating...done with project! woohoo!! so glad! I love it sia! haha...the past few weeks was great..OOAD Project taught me to cooperate with your group's member...that is IMPORTANT! even you do fights and have arguments, make an effort to apologize...sometime you must take the first step... and this project taught me that in life not all things goes your way..haha.. i was so relieved when we were done with it.. i am so relieved i tell u..last week we spent most of time in school..like 9am - 9pm..12 hours.. we we doing project.. last friday we did stayed.. i saw my eye-candy ^.^ dream on salina! haha... Ramadhan is nearing...like next week... Fast sia! well i love fasting month... (: it teach me to self-control on a lot of things... (: We are coming soon to the end of the Semester... whoa! fast fast! haha.. Well well... I shall stop blabbering and chillax! (: (:

Short Getaway Trip

Hello everyone,
Currently I at desaru chalet..just watched the world cup ..Argentina vs Germany..well I don't support any team ..I just support which score good..so as all the football fan shld know Germany won ..4-0..haha..I was having fun..see how they work as a team and all..what I've learn from the game is to work ad a team and NEVER stingy to share the glory..what I've seen and infer that Argentina player is always wanting to keep the ball to themselves and not share..remind me of floorball team back in secondary school days..hahaha...we always get tense if the ball is with us and decide not to share..hahaha..
Let's don't talk about world cup.. Desaru is our second destination..malacca is our first destination..we went to the place where they sell alot of souvinier and stuff..I bought one for myself..haha...well my mom is not here.she is at Singapore ..she can't join us as she had to work.her boss is ill..so she have to work..sad lah..but what can we do..hope she is well..I called her to tell where and what we doing..haha.. Well I waiting for 2am as my bros are going to fish..I want to follow..don't want to sleep..haha...I bought the back I wanted long ago..it was cheap..haha..RM 18 only mah..haha..tempted to buy two..but buy so much for what..haha...shall end here then..hope all are well.. :)

Hello

I am blogging using my iTouch..to see whether it works..well last Thursday and Friday I had my practical for driving..Thursday was was not bad..Friday was a bit tiring..I go around the circuit correcting and improving..hahah..my right leg was tired..haha..I hope I pass all the lesson a.s.a.p..so I can drive..hahaha...
Ooooohhhhh...school starting soon...sem 1 term 2 ..hahaha... I hope I will ace all my subject ...I kept saying how I hope I can be in the director list...hahaha...well dream on Salina...that's all :)

time check now is 210 am... was watching a movie at youtube...Surfing the net for movies to be watched.haha... so watched the movie, Raise Your Voice leading actress is Hillary Duff. the Final song was so touching and meaningful. Very meaning. It was called Somebody Watching Over me. here the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USH3F4JjkBs

go watch it...it was so touching and meaningful...den after watching that movie , search for old song that once i love.

Only Hope by Mandy Moore. It was a nice song too..haha...late night watching videos and listening song are very relaxing I shall say..

Went to the HCA Hospice Center yesterday with the CCA. We played 2 games and a sing-a-long session. Though I do not really interact with any of the patients but seeing their smiles and laughter, made my day. They were so enthusiastic of playing the games.How simple the game is , the played with much enthusiasm. Ms Germaine from the HCA gave us a talk during the CSC orientation. How the video she showed made me teared up. Terminally ill and doctor said that you have less than a year to live. that's a big blow to whoever it is. One year to live. I guess no one hard is that strong to take that kind of blow. But I guess with centre such as HCA Hospice Centre they will be living their life to the fullest. If it were me that was diagnosed and told that left 1 year to live , I will be in an emo state. I will cry and cry but life has a sunny side when it stop raining. We never know the future that hold for us. enough talk about life and their mystery.

(:

I Love you Dad, Missary!(: